Human writers rule

My family have always called me Al. Short for Alistair.

One of my clients back in the day called me Big Al, not because I’m overweight or even a muscular kind of guy, but (I hope) because I had Big Ideas.

But now I share a name with what looks damagingly close to AI so I may be mistaken for a robot pretending to be a novelist.

Big Al is now editor of a UK business/trade magazine which, thanks to search technology that doesn’t understand what the cleverly titled glossy New Natural Business is trying to do, attracts all sorts of strange press releases.

One just in tells me that a 43-year-old male from Cardiff has an AI girlfriend who keeps his loneliness at bay by telling him in a sultry, sexy voice that she is glad she found him. A release that says nothing about the power of vitamin D, probiotics and the rise of the vegan diet – these are just some of the things we’d prefer to bang on about.

I’ve consigned it to the trash along with all the stuff I get about how to improve the company website, which is nowt to do with me as a mere editor of a print publication for a damn fine publishing house. And a very capable one with its own online department at that.

But it made me think. If I were as desperate as ‘43-year-old male from Cardiff’, and let’s not knock the underlying issue of loneliness, it would be a case of Al and AI. I’m sure there’s a typographical difference but I can’t spot it.

Speaking of AI, we’re told that the full-length AI novel, ready and primed for Amazon in about 10 minutes, is just around the corner. It may already have happened by the time you read this.

The tech giants have already stolen all my novels in order to train AI, so my years of creativity and sweating blood are all lined up ready for any ignoramus to adapt at the click of a mouse.

Have I tried it? Yes, I questioned Chat GPT about a couple of scenes and the bot decided I just wanted to stab everyone on sight with a Roman gladius short sword with some nifty dance moves.

Consigned to the trash along with the misdirected press releases.

Look, I know it has its uses and in many ways I expect AI to be my friend. But I will never forgive it or Musk for theft.

For example, I’ve just watched that historical abortion of a movie, Gladiator II, and I defy anyone not to be amazed at the stunning CGI effects. I mean, baboon-dogs and a gladiator riding a rhinoceros? A flooded gladiatorial arena with Roman galleys duking it out? Stunning. Helps the ignorant get past the historical inaccuracies and focus on what they really want – pure entertainment.

My latest won’t ever be a Netflix series. Of course, it should be. There’s a wolf hero in Book One and a crazy mongrel bitch in Book Two. (I know about canines – I run with a white wolf and below there’s a photo to prove it). But no snarling baboon-dogs or marauding rhinoceri. It’s about Romans v Celts in Rome’s first attempt at dominating Britain in the first century BC. Reader decides who won, but it sure wasn’t the Romans.

I’ll be posting more about this new series when Sapere Books have it locked and loaded later this year.

Meanwhile, fish out the price of a coffee and buy one of my four historicals thus far. Find them at my website. Don’t let the tech giants get away with it.

Big Al is a human writer!

And finally…

Apart from watching Gladiator II, I’ve also been re-watching The West Wing from 20-odd years ago. I hope Trump is doing the same. I wrote down this quote from C.J. Cregg, President Bartlet’s press officer: “This country was built on freedom. Everyone is from somewhere else less free.”

Not any more!